That's weird
by Sadistic Bi-polar Lamas
Summary: Has nothing to do with Maximum Ride I just don't know where I should put it. And don't you dare say the rubbish bin. This is just something random and my first story ever so go nuts.


Hey I'm tiffany but my friends call me tiff, I'm fourteen and coasting it. With blond hair, green eyes and average everything else my parent's could have done worse. My dad died at child birth... no jokes he died when I was born ... if your still laughing I meant he had a heart attack... stop snickering, it wasn't that funny... god, you're so immature.

I have sarcasm to spare and a winning personality (sarcasm then, did you catch it?) my life's as close to perfect as I could hope for apart from the dad thing and the fact that I have a very short attention spa- oh a cookie! *nom, nom, nom*

...

Goth people are cool, in fact I want to be one, except it's annoying when you're blond. If you're blonde and wearing a full black ensemble you just look stupid. I mean, no offence to you if you are, if you can pull it off your my new idol. But I have 'very fair' hair, pshh don't make me laugh, that's just a nice way to say you're going prematurely grey. I would dye my hair if I could but there's a stick so far up my mum's ass I doubt there's any chance of it getting out again. I would ask my dad but I've tried that and learnt that gravestones don't talk back.

I don't know why she even cares. Heck she probably forgot my name, with five perfect sisters and three perfect brothers' I wouldn't be surprised. Why am I complaining? you ask in your very annoying voice, well if you'd stop asking dumb questions and let me explain this should all go smoothly. Yes I know there plenty people worse off than me, just because my siblings are perfect and popular doesn't mean they have to be assholes... actually now that I think about it they do have to be assholes but my family's messed up that way.

Just because my mum's controlling, doesn't mean she's not okay...ish...y. she's fine with swearing and doesn't give two shit's about us getting into fights or staying out late, but oh no put on makeup and your grounded for eternity, she literally said and I quote 'bring that filth in here and you won't wake up tomorrow', how many people can say they've been threatened by their mum?

No, put your hand down it was rhetorical. _**Why should I? You're not the boss of me, crazy.**_ What did you call me bitch? _**You know**__**you just called yourself a bitch**_**. **_**You're such a loser**_**.** Look who's talking. _**I need a mirror, oh wait there's none in your room because as soon as you looked at them they shattered.**_ That's it, get over here, you're going down.

...

Phew, that was fun. That was sarcasm just so you know. Actually I'm starting to get worried, their voices in my head Juli that was her just then and then there's Bret. There good voices though... well, if I'm 'nice' to them and 'take their thoughts into consideration' (hahahahahahahaha oh, oh god that's frickin hilarious! *wipes away tear*) otherwise they give me headaches and not small one's either. I've decided to tell my mum, wish me luck... I'm going to need it.

_**...**_

It's been two years since I told mum that I'm crazy, she took it surprisingly well considering the whole 'your daughters crazy thing'. Guess what they gave me? ... What? No, eww, you need help ... no, not that either ... you know what? Stop guessing, you suck at it. It was ... PILLS! Never would have guessed, hey?

Seriously though, they have pills for everything. Sad? Take a pill! Can't shit? Take a pill! Wanna die? Take a pill! Can't decide what pill to take? TAKE A FRICKIN' PILL! Ugh! Sorry, I have these things called bitch fest's you wouldn't know it cause it looks like I'm just zoning out but really I'm damming the world to an eternal hell.

'WAKE UP!' screamed my teacher. Eww... I thought as I wiped away spit from under my left eye. He was standing in front of me palms flat on my desk and leaning in close. He smiled at me 'Nice of you to join us!' he said cheerfully then walked back to the front of the class. I smirked I absolutely loved this teacher, he was awesome. I heard snickers and giggles from the rest of the class.

'Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice' said my best friend Tash grinning evilly at me from her seat to the right of me since my desk was at the back corner. I rolled my eyes and focused on the class.

...

'Definitely vampire.' Tash decided. We were bored one day in class (Nahhh! never! Us? Bored? Class? Should I stop using question marks?) And came up with a game. We picked someone and had to say what kind of supernatural thing they are. Tash had pointed to my brother. I burst out laughing.

'Have you seen him in the mornings? More like zombie!' A tray clattered next to me and Chloe sat down. 'Who's a zombie?' She asked picking up her sandwich. 'My brother' I said cheerfully. She looked at me strangely and that's saying something because they know everything about me, and of course I know everything about them.

'Should I be worried about my bestie's brain getting eaten-'she asked. I smiled brightly at her 'thank you for caring about my health' I cut in. '-because I wanted that brain for myself, I always wanted two brains so I can use double the brain power.' She finished. I raised an eyebrow. 'I love you too.' I said dryly. She just grinned at me and took a huge bite out of her sandwich.

...

On the way home we saw a humongous guy sniffing the air. 'Werewolf.' I declared the same time Chloe said 'Vampire.' Tash turned around from her position in front of us and said 'Girls, girls we all know he's an elf.' And we started laughing until he turned to us and glared. 'Cheese it!' cried Tash and we ran all the way to Chloe's house.

...

'Jace is sooooo cooool!' squealed Chloe. 'I know! OMFP!' Tash screamed jumping off Chloe's bed and doing an incredibly stupid dance that I may or may not have been filming with my ipod. I sighed and put away my ipod Tash comes up with the weirdest things to put behind OM. 'FP?'Chloe asked. 'FINGER PUPPETS!' she started wiggling her fingers and toes that were painted purple.

'Why is he so cool?' I asked not knowing I just practically dug my own grave. 'WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!' they both said at the same time. 'I just think that that Jonathan/Sebastian whatever is cooler and should have totally killed him.' I said calmly. 'You can't just kill off a character like that its inhumane, especially if it's Jace.' countered Tash. 'Why is Jace so special? Yeah he's got psychotic a-hole that raised him and yeah he's got a completely screwed up family but still.' I tried to reason. 'Because he's Jace.' Chloe said slowly like she was talking to her brother.

I rolled my eyes I'm so not going to win this I thought and then I realised something. 'Hey... wasn't his dad married to Luke's sister?' 'Yeah. Why?**' (AN: I'm not actually sure if he is and I can't check because I let my friend borrow the books, just say he is if he isn't) **'Because didn't Clary's mum and Luke end up marrying? So it's like Clary is Jace's cousin once removed or something?' I wasn't actually sure if I got it right or if the words I just said meant anything but if you think about it... 'Oh my fall out boy that's so wrong.' Said... you guessed it, Tash. 'Well at least it's better than being his sister.' Said Chloe and we all had to agree with that one.

...

'Elena's a slut.' I said suddenly. They both turned to me 'What did you just call her?' said Chloe in a cold voice. 'A slut!' I cried cheerfully. 'I gotta agree with her on this one.' Tash put an arm around my shoulders 'She should pick one and stick with it.' Chloe shrugged she knew it was a lost cause.

'I loved the first few books but when she came back alive for the second time everything went downhill.' She admitted. 'I hate all that "WINGS OF PURIFICATION!" Shit, it's gotten lame.' Tash declared kicking one of the books in the series that was lying on the floor.

...

'OH MY DIGESTIVE TRACT! She just drowned the cat!' Tash screamed, she flung the book across the room, out the door, down the stairs, narrowly avoiding Chloe's mum, and finally hitting Chloe's brother in the back of the head from where he was on the couch... she may be over reacting a tad bit ... but ... damn that girl has a good arm. 'Aren't you gonna say something?' she said waving a hand in front of my face. 'Sorry, what?' Chloe and I were still staring out the door. 'THE BOOK SUCKS! SHE DROWNED THE CAT!' 'Which book?' asked Chloe? 'Wicked.' Tash was now sprawled on the ground pouting. ' Then don't read it.' I said 'Here read this it's awesome.

...

'OH MY BEAR IN THE BIG BLUE HOUSE! This book is frickin awesome!' shrieked Tash. "Bear in the big blue house?" I mouthed to Chloe after I took my hands away from my ears, she just shrugged and looked at Tash who was foaming at the mouth. "Does she have rabies?" Chloe mouthed to me. What I thought she said was "Ducks shit have babies?" I cracked up of course and she looked at me funny, Tash couldn't because she was passed out on the floor twitching a little. Tears were streaming down my face but I could still see Chloe back out of the room and close the door.

...

After our little random spaz attack Chloe came back into the room after realising it was her house. 'Soooooooo,' she began 'what book where you talking about?' 'Vampire Academy.' I stated. 'Although I still think after Dmitri survived a stake through the heart for the **second** time she should have just ditched him for Adrian because Adrian is just that awesome.' 'Seconded.' Tash said raising her hand before flipping through another page.

...

'How about that Graffiti Moon book, the blurbs retarded but the stories frickin' awesome.' Chloe said. 'Aye.' I said like those people do when they take a vote in movies. 'Neighhhhhh!' Tash cried making a horse sound that sounded surprisingly like the real thing. We cracked up laughing because that's what teenage girls do, make horse noises and then laugh. Yeah, that's right, be afraid boys.

...

'You know what's weird?' Tash asked. 'You.' me and Chloe responded at the same time. Tash glared at us and I raised my hands. 'Don't ask the question if you're not gonna take the answer.' She stopped glaring and said ' What I meant was when they say in books you can see people's emotions and stuff through their eyes, does that work for you guys or am I the only one that can't?' 'I dunno, let's check.' Chloe said and moved so we were inches apart and stared into my eyes. I tried to do the same to her but I just went cross eyed. Tash sighed and twittered that she needed new friends.

...

'How do you give someone a look that says stay here? Because I can only give a look that says go to the shops and buy me a sprite and chips, but not the hot kind, the thin packeted kind.' Tash said. 'That's not difficult at all.' I said rolling my eyes. 'That's weird.' Chloe said from her place on the bed. She was lying across the width of the bed with her head on the floor and her left foot over the headboard. 'Yeah,' I said looking at her pointedly 'That's so weird.'

...

'I'm bored, let's stop talking about books.' Chloe said throwing down the book she picked off the floor just for that purpose. 'OMNPT you guys have to see this thing on you tube it's called ASDF movie 1 there's 2 and 3 as well.' Tash said as she got up off the floor where she was sprawled and turned on Chloe's laptop. 'OMNPT?' I asked. 'Ninja Pokémon Trainer, duh.' She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 'Uh-huh whatever you say dude.' 'Shh, it's about to play.' Chloe shushed and clicked on the play button.

...

We sat there a couple of moments after the clip finished with wide eyes... and then fell backwards off the chair we were all squished on because we were laughing so hard and we all got stitches witch made us laugh even harder somehow?... just go with the flow I say.


End file.
